Xjyuk

I was surprised that our company didn't do anything for national Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, so I volunteered to organize our own version of it (just calling it Bring Your Child to Work Day). The executives in the firm were thought it was a great idea and gave me the green light. They even authorized a good amount money for special activities for the children.

Yesterday I sent out the announcement of the event with details, and was pleasantly surprised how positive of a response I got. Lots of people are signing up, and there appears to be some genuine excitement.

The only hiccup in the plan is that somebody has signed up his dog to attend. I assumed it was a joke at first, but when I confronted him, he got extremely defensive. He said that his dog was his child, and that I was being discriminatory by trying to exclude him. He accused me of being prejudiced against people with different lifestyles who choose not to have children.

I tried to explain to him that the point of Bring Your Child to Work Day was to expose children to different careers in the workplace and to inspire them. He said that since I'm creating my own version of Bring Your Child to Work Day, I can turn it into whatever I want. He basically threatened to report me to the diversity manager of the company.

I really hate conflict and I'm tempted to give into his demands to avoid having to deal with this, but I find the whole thing quite silly and annoying. I'm just trying to create a fun program for children, but now I fear I'm going to get thrown in the middle of controversy over something stupid.

There's nobody I can really escalate this to, because I'm actually the one who is in charge. Am I wrong for thinking that bringing a dog to such event is silly and unprofessional? What can I do to defuse this conflict?

One of my past employers also did a modified version of this event. They called it Bring a Child to Work Day. By default people brought their own kids, but if you didn't have kids but had a favorite niece, nephew, friend's kid, or whatever, that was fine. (There was fine print somewhere to the effect that it was up to you to make sure this was ok with the parents of the kid you brought, if not yours.)

You can use a similar approach to defuse your conflict. Stress that this is for human children and he's free to bring a child who is special to him. Also, the activities you have planned (you do have activities planned, right?) depend on the participants being human. If he doesn't have any children in his life, then he can sit this one out, same as the people who don't drink sit out happy hour and the ones who aren't into sports sit out the volleyball league and so on.

Do make sure that there is no work benefit to the people who participate. They should do so on their own time (or use a few hours of leave), so that those who don't participate can't make the argument that the company discriminated against them by letting people with kids skip out on work to participate.

The best way to address his claims of canine children is to ignore them. He can show up with a child, or not participate, or be laughed at by a roomful of coworkers and their children if he shows up with Fido. If he takes his claim to HR, them laughing at him would be getting off light. Don't let him bait you. And whether he can bring his dog to work at all is a matter for your office manager, not you.

Do not give in to his demands. His demands are beyond stupid (and I say this as a no-child dog owner). This is not a bring-your-beloved-pet-day. Best case scenario is the dog will be bored to death sitting next to Joe listening to him explaining his day job in kid-friendly terms.

He basically threatened to report me to the diversity manager of the company

One way to react to threats from bullies is to make sure they don't linger around but are resolved as soon as possible. Write them a nice email to the effect that you'd love to meet their dogs, but not on Child-To-Work-Day. Offer to support them in talking to management on doing their own day, maybe bring-your-animal-day. Quote them on their threat and tell them why you think this is not a diversity issue ("this is an event for kids aged 10-14. All kids aged 10-14. But only kids."), but since they brought it up, include the contact data of the diversity manager. Copy the diversity manager in CC.

This threat should vanish over night. Either they can duke it out with the diversity manager, or they can give up. There is a slight chance that your diversity manager is incompetent, but I think that's unlikely.

The point here is: do not give in to stupid people. Do not let threats just hang over you unresolved when they can be resolved by one quick email. Delegate the fight over whether this is a diversity issue or just plain stupid to someone equipped for it.

As a dog lover I can conclusively say that a dog is not a child, no matter how you twist language.

Not only is a dog a furry animal on four legs, it also has a non-human psychology, even though many try to anthromorphosize dogs.

The confusion here stems from that the person in question seems to consider it their right to interpret language in a way they see fit.

But, to repeat, children are not dogs, which is the rational way to go forward and explain the issue.

In addition, many children are afraid of dogs. Depending on the dog, bringing it to a kid’s event may be a bad idea. Not to mention potential problems because of allergies. What is your company’s responsibility if a kid gets an allergic attack?

In writing, explain that kids are not dogs. Add a line or two about potential hazards, and that the discussion about dogs in the workplace is a valid but separate issue. Cc the diversity responsible, who should know the legal requirements for diversity issues.