Xjyuk

I work in a large team (~50 headcount) at the head office of a large multinational bank. Last year I was diagnosed with cancer - thankfully a very survivable form of it. I had an operation to remove the tumour and I spent 3 weeks away from work recovering.

Currently I’m on a surveillance programme where I get my blood tested every few weeks and I get a full scan every so often. So far everything is clear, but my oncologist informs me that the first 2 years are when most reoccurrences will happen, so no cause for celebration just yet.

The complication here is that my wedding was 3 weeks after I was diagnosed, the wedding day was the day I would otherwise have returned to work. I still made it to my wedding and took the 2 weeks holiday I’d already booked to go on our honeymoon. When I came back everyone except the senior managers in my team thought I somehow wrangled a 5 week honeymoon, and I never bothered to correct them.

I rejected adjuvant chemotherapy because it sounded too risky, but despite this I was desperate to find a way to fight back. Because of the mental stress and the need for me to feel like I’m fighting back I agreed with the team leader to reduce my hours by 20% (with an equivalent reduction in salary) which is very exceptional on my team. I’ve used this extra time productively by a) talking things through with a counsellor and b) losing a decent amount of weight at the gym.

There are a few people on my team who I’m more connected to so I’ve talked to them about it. But by and large most of my team don’t know for sure why I’m doing a 4 days week. A few have made a comment to me about how ideal my arrangement would be for them, which I suppose sounds reasonable from their perspective.

How do I talk to my coworkers about this? Personally I’ve never been good at announcing anything to a crowd larger than one. Any advice would be much appreciated!

I'm not sure how comfortable you are doing this, but I might just send out a blast email to my coworkers:

Hi all (or however you choose to address your coworkers). I'd just like to clear the air about my recently and current work situation. I was off for 5 weeks, during which time, as you know, I got married and also went on my honeymoon with my wife (wife's name, if you feel it's appropriate; it adds some character to add her name imo, but you don't have to if you don't want to). However, during the first 3 weeks of those 5, I was diagnosed with cancer (you can name the type of cancer here, it might be useful, because your coworkers might be interested in looking it up to see how they might be able to help you). It's not life-threatening, and *knock wood* I seem to be past the worst of it, but for the next little while I'll be working 4 days per week as I continue to recover from the attendant circumstances I find myself in.

Thank you all for your continued support through this troubling time, and thank you for your understanding. As always, I'll continue to perform my duties to the best of my ability.

Sincerely, A Z

That's basically exactly how I'd word it.

EDIT: I'd only send out this email to my team directly, not to all "coworkers". The entire company doesn't need to know about your situation, only those close to you (in working-relationship terms). Just to be clear what I meant by "coworkers" above.

It isn't entirely clear from your post whether you're dealing with negative comments or if you're just trying to proactively tell the group about your health.

Dealing with negativity

I'm also on 80% work and, while some colleagues know the reasons for it, others have made a few snarky comments about how I'm never around. I try to ignore most of the negativity; perception only matters for people whose opinion you respect and those are probably the same people you've already talked with about it. Anyone who starts questioning my work is referred to my manager, who does his job and manages their concerns.

For other lookers-on and commentators, I would take it on a case-by-case basis, sticking to minimal facts.

1. Imaginary coworker: "How come you're always out?"
   
   Me: "I work an 80% schedule but I also only get 80% pay."
   
   A light bulb of understanding illuminates and imaginary coworker backs off.




2. Imaginary coworker: "Where do you keep going?"
   
   Me: "I have (medical) appointments."
   
   Imaginary coworker respects the vagueness, expresses vague sympathy and doesn't pry further.




3. Imaginary coworker: "Oh. Nothing serious, I hope."
   
   Me: "I'd rather not talk about it here." OR "Actually, XYZ. ..."

Proactively talking to the group

Go with your level of comfort, but I'd always recommend erring on the side of less information when addressing a group about a medical issue for multiple reasons:

1. I don't want advice from everyone whose third cousin's sister had a disease that sleeping outside under a new moon with her toes in apple cider vinegar cured.


2. I go to work as a relief from some of my medical issues, to an extent. I don't want people treating me differently; I just want to do my work.


3. Some people may be discriminatory - whether it is legal or not. Even years down the line, someone could pass on promoting me because they feel like I can't handle it due to my medical issues.

So as you might guess, I'm not really a fan of basically announcing your diagnosis and treatment to the whole group (especially ~50 people!). That being said, your absences do affect the work so I think it would be appropriate to send out an email or talk with people to let them know your new work schedule. Personally, I'd say something like

Team, I'll be working a reduced scheduled for the foreseeable future and will be out of the office on Fridays. Please be sure to catch me on Thursdays if you have any work you need addressed before the weekend.

2 choices:

1. Tell them it's none of their business. Your manager knows the deal, and he/she approved your work schedule.




2. Tell people. Do it one at a time, or as a group. Do you have a team meeting that you can take a moment? Maybe ask your manager for help? Perhaps he/she could share it for you if you're nervous in a group. Or perhaps if your manager approves, do a group email to everyone on your team and explain the time off, and that this is an ongoing issue.

If you ask for their patience, and tell them this is what's happening, only the coldest of hearts would hold it against you.

Firstly, I hope everything turns out well for you. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to give your health the best chance. Quite right too!

If I understand correctly, you would rather keep the explanation for your extended absence and 4-day week to yourself (and your chosen trusted confidantes), but other people are starting to ask questions and you would like to know what to say to them.

I have had some personal matters to take care of, for which I needed some time away from work.

That's honestly all you need to say when the matter is raised. It doesn't need to be a big announcement to the whole team, you certainly don't need to give details or share anything that makes you uncomfortable, but when someone asks in a small group or one-on-one conversation, just say that - word will get around. Given that they might also want to work a 4-day week and wonder why they're not allowed, it's understandable that they might have had questions; but by making it clear that your situation is (a) unique to you and (b) personal, they should hopefully take the hint that it is not something you wish to discuss, and your new work arrangement is not something they should expect to be offered themselves. If they press for more information, simply repeat:

It's a personal matter.

You don't even need to add that you don't wish to talk about it; that's implicit in it being personal. People do not normally pry into something once they have expressly been told it is a personal matter - and having made it clear to them that that is what it is, if they do keep asking anyway, at this point you would be within your rights to ask their manager to privately tell them to stop.