Xjyuk

I was wondering what the correct way of expressing "to hit home" with somebody in German is. To hit home in English means: Suppose you have had a bad experience in the past, maybe a family member died of a disease. If somebody later makes a joke about having the disease, it affects you personally, it "hits home" with you.

I see a couple of possibilities in German.

1. jemandem nahegehen


2. (bei jemandem?) sitzen?

Could you say, "Seine Bemerkung hat bei ihr wirklich gesessen" in order to express this? And what exactly is the difference between "nahegehen" and "sitzen" in this context?

Seine Bemerkung hat bei ihr wirklich gesessen

would only be said if the speaker intended to hit home. For instance, pointing out somebody’s hypocrisy might cause somebody to later on report with above sentence.

"Jemandem nahegehen" is a possible translatio:

Seine Bemerkung ist ihr nahe gegangen.

"Jemanden treffen" would be a synonym and leads to another good translation:
"betroffen machen". "betroffen" may be translated as upset, hurt or dismayed. It means that someone was strongly moved or hurt inwardly due to hearing or seeing something.

Sie war wegen seines Alzheimerwitzes sehr betroffen.

Another example is in the context of news:

Sie war sehr betroffen als sie von dem Anschlag hörte.

I understand to hit home means to hit the center of the target. That would be

Voll ins Schwarze! (Schießen)

Der (Schuss) hat gesessen! (Fussball)

Das hat gesessen. is also a typical comment if someone berates someone else using a spot on argument.

However, with that sentiment you mentioned, the term is

Tiefschlag

Schlag in die Magengrube

The term

Es geht mir nahe.

in contrary only means it makes you cry (though you don't cry if the situation isn't appropriate for that).

For the expression "to hit home" like you discribed it, your first option would be possible. Other ways saying that could be "[this joke/mentioning/remembering this] hat mich getroffen" or "hat mich betroffen gemacht", or "hat mich total aufgewühlt".

"Sitzen": This is used more in the context of hit by intention, possible even for an insult or mentionining a "wound point?", but also for a very good point in an argument, or a good joke. You can think of "hitting" someone with words and you are wanting it. Typically, you would say "das hat gesessen" (but never "bei jemanden sitzen" this is just sitting side-by-side). Good also: "Seine Bemerkung hat wirklich gesessen" without "bei ihr".

In contrast, [something/"diese Bemerkung"/"die Erwähnung von"] "ist [someone] nahegegangen" or "hat [someone] betroffen gemacht" or "hat [someone] getroffen" is more focused on the emotional level. If the "hit" was by intention by the person mentioning the expression or not, is not as relevant as in the case of "gesessen".
"Nahegehen" is always used with a thing, never with a person. "Das ist ihm nahegegangen" but never "er ist ihr nahegegangen".

Von den genannten Beispielen, die sich um viele weitere ergänzen lassen, scheint mir der "Schlag in die Magengrube" oder "Tiefschlag" zu den einerseits häufigsten, andererseits ähnlichsten zu zählen.

Dagegen ist, was nahegeht, nicht unbedingt verletzend.

Der Schlag ist auch beim Schlag ins Kontor anwesend. Der Blattschuss passt, wie vieles, besser zur Absicht.

It is difficult to find the one translation, as the original English expression has various meanings itself, depending on context.

The arguably most literal meaning is that of "(a blow or a missile) reach[ing] an intended target" (citing the above source, idioms as collected by the Free Dictionary). This can be rendered as das Ziel treffen, or (colloquially) das Schwarze treffen, or just treffen. As in: "Die Rakete hat getroffen."

In many cases, that phrasing also works in the figurative sense, such as in your example:

The remark hit home with her, as it reminded her of her mother's death.

Die Bermerkung traff sie, da sie Erinnerungen an den Tod ihrer Mutter hochbrachte.

("Die Bemerkung ging ihr sehr nahe" would do just as well.)

Or in other examples, selected from the same source as cited above:

Mary's criticism of my clothes hit home, so I changed.

Marys Kritik an meinem Outfit hat mich getroffen. Also habe ich mich umgezogen.

David's accusation about his motives had hit home more than he cared to admit.

Davids Anschuldigung ob seiner Motive traff ihn härter, als er zugeben mochte.

Under different circumstances, other expressions would be more appropriate. Namely, "(die erhoffte) Wirkung erzielen", which would work for these cases:

It wasn't until he was threatened with losing his job that the comments about John's work ethic really hit home.

Erst als die Gefahr bestand, dass er seinen Job verliert, haben die Kommentare bezüglich seiner Arbeitsmoral die erhoffte Wirkung erzielt.

The film has an underlying theme of grief and loss that will hit home with a lot of viewers.

Dem Film unterliegt ein Motiv von Trauer und Verlust, das bei vielen Zuschauern seine Wirkung erzielen wird.

Other uses of "hit/strike home" will require more nuance. I cannot give an exhaustive list, but here are two examples that aren't covered by translations in this or any of the other answers (so far):

In many cases the reality of war doesn't hit home until people are actually called upon to fight.

In vielen Fällen setzt die Realität des Krieges erst ein, wenn Menschen tatsächlich zum Kampfeinsatz aufgerufen werden.

The severity of the situation struck home last week when hundreds of troops entered the town.

Die Ernsthaftigkeit der Lage wurde letzte Woche bewusst, als Hunderte Truppen die Stadt einnahmen.

Finally, "Seine Bemerkung hat bei ihr wirklich gesessen" is idiomatic, but whether it actually means "His remark really struck home with her" is debatable. (Not wrong, debatable.) In a colloquial context, it would rather mean that the remark "took her down a notch". So it would have been more of a put-down than a (subtle or not-so-subtle) trigger for internal reflection. It's that nuance, the emphasis on self-reflection rather than the direct impact, that requires a more careful selection of the appropriate German expression.