Skip to main content

Vicevi o dizelašima Ortak zemunac u bolnici 'De živiš? Šetaju dva Zemunca i razgovaraju Dođe Zemunac na pijacu do štanda Kako pijuče zemunsko pile Kako se naziva kum na venčanjima Upeca Zemunac zlatnu ribicu i ribica Šta bi rekao Julije Cezar da Na suđenju pita sudija optuženog Zemunca Razgovara majka sa sinom Zemuncem Kako se na zemunskom kaže Začin Ode Zemunac na pijacu i kaže Zemunac u kupatilu kupa se sat Kako prepoznati mladoženju na zemunskoj svadbi Nosi Kako se zove zemunski dečji hor Kalibri Šta kaže Zemunac devojci kad nije Dolazi mali Zemunac u frizerski salon Kaže keva Zemuncu Dolazi Zemunac kod ortaka za Božić Hasan Dudić stoji ispod duda kad

Proizvodnja ambalaze za kucnu dostavu i pakovanje hrane - MiP marketStiletto Ulje za bradu. 100% prirodno. Rucno punjenoRegisterLost your password?Log inLost your password?Log inRegister




















Vicevi o dizelašima


 

 









2









Ortak zemunac u bolnici








Sretnu se dva zemunca:

• ‘De si brate, šta ima?

• Ma brate, ne pitaj, ortak mi završio u bolnici.

• Ne seri da završava u bolnici?!



 







1









'De živiš?








Izveo zemunac ribu u grad i na kraju izlaska je pita:

• A ‘de živiš?

• U Boleču.

• E, boleče me kurac da te vozim kući!



 







18









Šetaju dva Zemunca i razgovaraju








Šetaju dva Zemunca i razgovaraju:

• Je li torima, gde si ti sinoć, a?

• Ma tebra, ne pitaj me štani, znaš kakvu sam pičku upoznao? Znači boginja.

• Pa dobro batara, nego je l’ si barem uzeo telefon?

• Ma jok ti si! Vidi Nokijicu, ko bombona.



 







18









Dođe Zemunac na pijacu do štanda








Dođe Zemunac na pijacu do štanda sa jabukama:

• Daj mi kilo jabuka!

• To vam je 80 dinara. – odgovori prodavac.

• Znači, rekao sam DAJ MI!



 







11









Kako pijuče zemunsko pile








Kako pijuče zemunsko pile?

• Jupi, jupi!



 







15









Kako se naziva kum na venčanjima








Kako se naziva kum na venčanjima u Zemunu?

Zaštićeni svedok.



 







73









Upeca Zemunac zlatnu ribicu i ribica








Upeca Zemunac zlatnu ribicu, i ribica mu kaže da će mu ispuniti jednu želju ako je pusti. Zemunac:

• Dobro, ‘ocu neka dobra kola!

• Hoćeš na odloženo plaćanje ili na lizing?

• A oćeš ti na mast ili na ulje?



 







47









Šta bi rekao Julije Cezar da








Šta bi rekao Julije Cezar da je bio iz Zemuna?

• Zar i ti, sine, brate?



 







59









Na suđenju pita sudija optuženog Zemunca








Na suđenju pita sudija optuženog Zemunca:

• Imate li nešto za svoju odbranu?

• Imam u garaži dva Magnuma i tri Kalašnjikova!



 







25









Razgovara majka sa sinom Zemuncem








Razgovara majka sa sinom Zemuncem:

• Dobro, sine, dokle ćeš tako? Ukrao si sve što imaš u životu!

• Brate, kevo, koji ti je, diplomu i vozačku sam kupio!



 







31









Kako se na zemunskom kaže Začin








Kako se na zemunskom kaže Začin Ce?

Znači Ce.



 







30









Ode Zemunac na pijacu i kaže








Ode Zemunac na pijacu i kaže:

• Znači, daćeš mi dva kila jabuka!

Prodavac:

• To će biti 100 dinara.

Zemunac:

• Znači, rek’o sam daćeš mi!!



 







63









Zemunac u kupatilu kupa se sat








Zemunac u kupatilu, kupa se sat vremena. Ćale mu lupa na vrata i pita:

• Slinavi, za kol’ko završavaš?

Zemunac odgovara:

• Za 50 evra matori!



 







22









Kako prepoznati mladoženju na zemunskoj svadbi
Nosi








Kako prepoznati mladoženju na zemunskoj svadbi?

Nosi najlepšu trenerku od svih.



 







25









Kako se zove zemunski dečji hor
Kalibri








Kako se zove zemunski dečji hor?

Kalibri.



 







86









Šta kaže Zemunac devojci kad nije








Šta kaže Zemunac devojci, kad nije u pravu?

• Izvini sestro, ali sereš brate!



 







80









Dolazi mali Zemunac u frizerski salon








Dolazi mali Zemunac u frizerski salon i kaže:

• Brate sestro, ošišaj me na Davis cup!



 







106









Kaže keva Zemuncu








Kaže keva Zemuncu:

• Ništa ti sine ne učiš, ništa ne valjaš!

• Valjam kevo, valjam!



 







292









Dolazi Zemunac kod ortaka za Božić








Dolazi Zemunac kod ortaka za Božić, i ortak mu kaže:

• Hristos se rodi!

A ovaj će njemu:

• U brate, čestitam, ka’ ćeš da častiš?



 







305









Hasan Dudić stoji ispod duda kad








Hasan Dudić stoji ispod duda, kad naiđe Zemunac:

• Jao, brate, što si ti meni nešto poznat! Kako se zoveš, brate?

• Hasan Dudić.

• Ma vidim brate da hasaš dudić, nego kako se zoveš?




  • 1

  • 2

  • 3

  • Next »









(function()
var po = document.createElement('script'); po.type = 'text/javascript'; po.async = true;
po.src = 'https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(po, s);
)();















Login






Register





Reset Password








/* <![CDATA[ */
var SimpleModalLoginL10n = "shortcut":"true","empty_username":"ERROR: The username field is empty.","empty_password":"ERROR: The password field is empty.","empty_email":"ERROR: The email field is empty.","empty_all":"ERROR: All fields are required.";
/* ]]> */


var _gaq = _gaq || [];
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-19117001-1']);
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);

(function()
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
)();

Back to Top



Popular posts from this blog

19. јануар Садржај Догађаји Рођења Смрти Празници и дани сећања Види још Референце Мени за навигацијуу

Israel Cuprins Etimologie | Istorie | Geografie | Politică | Demografie | Educație | Economie | Cultură | Note explicative | Note bibliografice | Bibliografie | Legături externe | Meniu de navigaresite web oficialfacebooktweeterGoogle+Instagramcanal YouTubeInstagramtextmodificaremodificarewww.technion.ac.ilnew.huji.ac.ilwww.weizmann.ac.ilwww1.biu.ac.ilenglish.tau.ac.ilwww.haifa.ac.ilin.bgu.ac.ilwww.openu.ac.ilwww.ariel.ac.ilCIA FactbookHarta Israelului"Negotiating Jerusalem," Palestine–Israel JournalThe Schizoid Nature of Modern Hebrew: A Slavic Language in Search of a Semitic Past„Arabic in Israel: an official language and a cultural bridge”„Latest Population Statistics for Israel”„Israel Population”„Tables”„Report for Selected Countries and Subjects”Human Development Report 2016: Human Development for Everyone„Distribution of family income - Gini index”The World FactbookJerusalem Law„Israel”„Israel”„Zionist Leaders: David Ben-Gurion 1886–1973”„The status of Jerusalem”„Analysis: Kadima's big plans”„Israel's Hard-Learned Lessons”„The Legacy of Undefined Borders, Tel Aviv Notes No. 40, 5 iunie 2002”„Israel Journal: A Land Without Borders”„Population”„Israel closes decade with population of 7.5 million”Time Series-DataBank„Selected Statistics on Jerusalem Day 2007 (Hebrew)”Golan belongs to Syria, Druze protestGlobal Survey 2006: Middle East Progress Amid Global Gains in FreedomWHO: Life expectancy in Israel among highest in the worldInternational Monetary Fund, World Economic Outlook Database, April 2011: Nominal GDP list of countries. Data for the year 2010.„Israel's accession to the OECD”Popular Opinion„On the Move”Hosea 12:5„Walking the Bible Timeline”„Palestine: History”„Return to Zion”An invention called 'the Jewish people' – Haaretz – Israel NewsoriginalJewish and Non-Jewish Population of Palestine-Israel (1517–2004)ImmigrationJewishvirtuallibrary.orgChapter One: The Heralders of Zionism„The birth of modern Israel: A scrap of paper that changed history”„League of Nations: The Mandate for Palestine, 24 iulie 1922”The Population of Palestine Prior to 1948originalBackground Paper No. 47 (ST/DPI/SER.A/47)History: Foreign DominationTwo Hundred and Seventh Plenary Meeting„Israel (Labor Zionism)”Population, by Religion and Population GroupThe Suez CrisisAdolf EichmannJustice Ministry Reply to Amnesty International Report„The Interregnum”Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs – The Palestinian National Covenant- July 1968Research on terrorism: trends, achievements & failuresThe Routledge Atlas of the Arab–Israeli conflict: The Complete History of the Struggle and the Efforts to Resolve It"George Habash, Palestinian Terrorism Tactician, Dies at 82."„1973: Arab states attack Israeli forces”Agranat Commission„Has Israel Annexed East Jerusalem?”original„After 4 Years, Intifada Still Smolders”From the End of the Cold War to 2001originalThe Oslo Accords, 1993Israel-PLO Recognition – Exchange of Letters between PM Rabin and Chairman Arafat – Sept 9- 1993Foundation for Middle East PeaceSources of Population Growth: Total Israeli Population and Settler Population, 1991–2003original„Israel marks Rabin assassination”The Wye River Memorandumoriginal„West Bank barrier route disputed, Israeli missile kills 2”"Permanent Ceasefire to Be Based on Creation Of Buffer Zone Free of Armed Personnel Other than UN, Lebanese Forces"„Hezbollah kills 8 soldiers, kidnaps two in offensive on northern border”„Olmert confirms peace talks with Syria”„Battleground Gaza: Israeli ground forces invade the strip”„IDF begins Gaza troop withdrawal, hours after ending 3-week offensive”„THE LAND: Geography and Climate”„Area of districts, sub-districts, natural regions and lakes”„Israel - Geography”„Makhteshim Country”Israel and the Palestinian Territories„Makhtesh Ramon”„The Living Dead Sea”„Temperatures reach record high in Pakistan”„Climate Extremes In Israel”Israel in figures„Deuteronom”„JNF: 240 million trees planted since 1901”„Vegetation of Israel and Neighboring Countries”Environmental Law in Israel„Executive branch”„Israel's election process explained”„The Electoral System in Israel”„Constitution for Israel”„All 120 incoming Knesset members”„Statul ISRAEL”„The Judiciary: The Court System”„Israel's high court unique in region”„Israel and the International Criminal Court: A Legal Battlefield”„Localities and population, by population group, district, sub-district and natural region”„Israel: Districts, Major Cities, Urban Localities & Metropolitan Areas”„Israel-Egypt Relations: Background & Overview of Peace Treaty”„Solana to Haaretz: New Rules of War Needed for Age of Terror”„Israel's Announcement Regarding Settlements”„United Nations Security Council Resolution 497”„Security Council resolution 478 (1980) on the status of Jerusalem”„Arabs will ask U.N. to seek razing of Israeli wall”„Olmert: Willing to trade land for peace”„Mapping Peace between Syria and Israel”„Egypt: Israel must accept the land-for-peace formula”„Israel: Age structure from 2005 to 2015”„Global, regional, and national disability-adjusted life years (DALYs) for 306 diseases and injuries and healthy life expectancy (HALE) for 188 countries, 1990–2013: quantifying the epidemiological transition”10.1016/S0140-6736(15)61340-X„World Health Statistics 2014”„Life expectancy for Israeli men world's 4th highest”„Family Structure and Well-Being Across Israel's Diverse Population”„Fertility among Jewish and Muslim Women in Israel, by Level of Religiosity, 1979-2009”„Israel leaders in birth rate, but poverty major challenge”„Ethnic Groups”„Israel's population: Over 8.5 million”„Israel - Ethnic groups”„Jews, by country of origin and age”„Minority Communities in Israel: Background & Overview”„Israel”„Language in Israel”„Selected Data from the 2011 Social Survey on Mastery of the Hebrew Language and Usage of Languages”„Religions”„5 facts about Israeli Druze, a unique religious and ethnic group”„Israël”Israel Country Study Guide„Haredi city in Negev – blessing or curse?”„New town Harish harbors hopes of being more than another Pleasantville”„List of localities, in alphabetical order”„Muncitorii români, doriți în Israel”„Prietenia româno-israeliană la nevoie se cunoaște”„The Higher Education System in Israel”„Middle East”„Academic Ranking of World Universities 2016”„Israel”„Israel”„Jewish Nobel Prize Winners”„All Nobel Prizes in Literature”„All Nobel Peace Prizes”„All Prizes in Economic Sciences”„All Nobel Prizes in Chemistry”„List of Fields Medallists”„Sakharov Prize”„Țara care și-a sfidat "destinul" și se bate umăr la umăr cu Silicon Valley”„Apple's R&D center in Israel grew to about 800 employees”„Tim Cook: Apple's Herzliya R&D center second-largest in world”„Lecții de economie de la Israel”„Land use”Israel Investment and Business GuideA Country Study: IsraelCentral Bureau of StatisticsFlorin Diaconu, „Kadima: Flexibilitate și pragmatism, dar nici un compromis în chestiuni vitale", în Revista Institutului Diplomatic Român, anul I, numărul I, semestrul I, 2006, pp. 71-72Florin Diaconu, „Likud: Dreapta israeliană constant opusă retrocedării teritoriilor cureite prin luptă în 1967", în Revista Institutului Diplomatic Român, anul I, numărul I, semestrul I, 2006, pp. 73-74MassadaIsraelul a crescut in 50 de ani cât alte state intr-un mileniuIsrael Government PortalIsraelIsraelIsraelmmmmmXX451232cb118646298(data)4027808-634110000 0004 0372 0767n7900328503691455-bb46-37e3-91d2-cb064a35ffcc1003570400564274ge1294033523775214929302638955X146498911146498911

Кастелфранко ди Сопра Становништво Референце Спољашње везе Мени за навигацију43°37′18″ СГШ; 11°33′32″ ИГД / 43.62156° СГШ; 11.55885° ИГД / 43.62156; 11.5588543°37′18″ СГШ; 11°33′32″ ИГД / 43.62156° СГШ; 11.55885° ИГД / 43.62156; 11.558853179688„The GeoNames geographical database”„Istituto Nazionale di Statistica”проширитиууWorldCat156923403n850174324558639-1cb14643287r(подаци)